It's been nearly five and a half months since the initial lock down in New Jersey in mid March. That’s about 25 weeks, or 168 days of living with social distancing guidelines and wearing a masks.

Let’s recap: The first couple weeks were extremely tough due to limited information we had about coronavirus. The social isolation was most strict during this time with very limited physical interactions with others. We left the house for essential items, but those trips to the grocery store or pharmacy were filled with anxiety and worry about the status of others and bringing home the virus into our household. The underlying question leading to our worries and fears was and still is…will I die or get very sick from this?

Fast forward to today, where we know more about the virus, the effectiveness of wearing a mask with social distancing, the age groups and other populations most at risk. We’re now hanging out in small groups with masks and social distancing because we know how important it is to connect with others.

Even though we’ve come so far, it is still unsettling to be around others—the days of hanging out with others care free is no longer an option. Hugging our friends and family, letting our kids touch our grandparents is now a complicated question with no clear answer. Staying safe is the “right” thing to do, and it's also incredible that we're able to sacrifice our own desires for the betterment of others. It's altruism at its core, and demonstrates the kindness in all of us. However, the uncertainty and isolation have also resulted in many of us struggling with our own mental health.

A recent study out of Brown University, suggest that more than nearly 28% of American are currently experiencing depression during the pandemic, compared to 8.5% of people prior to living with coronavirus. That’s a 3-fold increase! The study shows that depression is higher in lower resource populations, like those experiencing financial hardship from job loss or limited savings. It also affects those who are socially isolated from a divorce, being single or separated, or having dealt with losing a loved from coronavirus.

Tragedy and disasters inevitably lead to mental health fall out, but can some of them actually bring us together in the re-building phase? In an a recent NPR story, Johns Hopkins professor suggests that recovering from a discrete event, like a hurricane or earthquake, is difficult—but psychologically easier to recover from than a pandemic. The article also suggests that after the dust settles, we’re able to connect with others in our community and return to a sense of normalcy. But the pandemic has undermined the fundamental mechanism for our social strength due to distancing rules and a halted economy. More importantly, a pandemic is a smoldering process—with no clear end. Is it still possible then, to come together, heal, and grow stronger?

Yes. But it takes time and intention. Now more than ever, it's so important that we check in with ourselves, take time to acknowledge the difficulty we might be experiencing and find help or ways to support ourselves. It is also important to be open and accepting of the reality of our challenges. The key is making time and seeking a healthy platform to connect and share our struggles in a non-judgmental and loving way.

While it may be easier on the surface to avoid negative feelings, we know that acknowledging and validating our feelings with compassion are the first step to begin the healing process. What does this mean and what does it look like? Here’s a few examples based in mindfulness practice:

Stop and observe. How are you feeling? Start with physical and move to emotional. Are your shoulders tight? Is your breathing shallow? Are you feeling stressed or anxious? No need to change anything, just observe.
Breathe; use compassion towards how you feel. Breathe in, and say “I know I am [feeling].” Breathe out, and say “It’s ok to be [feeling].”
Don’t discredit your own experience based on the relative experience of others. Meaning, even though some people may have it “worse” than you, it is valid for you to feel the way you do.
Don’t be afraid to truthfully answer the question “How are you doing?” with trusted friends.

There is still the uncertainty of when the pandemic will end, the reckoning with racial injustice in our country, and the burden of financial and economic insecurity. However, we don’t have to be left with anxiety, fear and emotional isolation. We can choose how we react to the external stressors. With mindfulness, compassion, and love for ourselves and others, we have the power to heal—together.

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Reach out to a health professional. One of the hardest parts is seeking help, but please know that you are not alone. Talk with your doctor about your experience or reach out to a licensed therapist for help. As Family Physicians we are trained in addressing and treating many mental health issues. Reach out to us for an appointment here.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing depression or suicidality, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

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